Red Dead Redemption But With A Good Ending
by THE PETE PETERSON EXPERIENCE
Summary: John Marston saves the wild west and becomes a hero.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - John Marston The Man

A/N: I played red ded readempshun and it had a gay ending. So i wrote this and this will be a better story.

Read dead redepmtion

John Marston was driving his ferrari around in the desert.

"Shit it's boring out here. Nothing to fuking do!" he said as he ran over a cactus. He then decided to go see bonnie mcfarlan. He did go there. She was happy to see him. And turned on, because she has a crush on john masrton.

"hello John Marston."

"fuck off. this place is even more boring. I'm gonna go steal some shit." john marston said.

John drove away to his hideout and played video games. with his best friends the professor, and irish. Irish got fat since John last saw him.

"John marston! If it isn't you." the fucking professor said.

"It better fucking be me, I'm the shit." Jawn said.

He yawned. (A/N: heheheheheheheheheheeheheh)

"I built a jetpack for you to use." the fucking prof essor said. "we can fucking use it to fuck up some indiens."

"thats the fuckin motherfuckion shit. let me use it."

john strapped himself into the jet pack and flew off to the roof.

'yeah this is the motherfukering shit balls of awesome motherucking ness bitch' john marstoni said.

'it is still in its prototype phase but it will be done later. in the menatime do you want to play video games?' tyhe pro fesson said?

'hell yeah i wanna play grand theft auto 4000' john marston said as he turned his ps3 on. irish was drunk and being fat and threw up on the ps3.

"GODDDAMM IT EYE-RISH YOU FUCKING FAT FAGGOT! YOU MESS EVERYTHING UP YOU BITCH ASS CUNT FACED FUCK FACE BITCH. I FUCKING HATE YOU" JHONM SAID. HE WAS VERY ANGRY!

"oh im sorry my dear boyio" irish said in a drunk accent.

he tried to clean up his messy pile of vomit with his beard but threw up more because he was gay and drunk.

"IM GONNA KICK YOUR FUCKING GAY IRISH ASS IRISH BITCH FUCKING FAGBGGOOT MUFFERFUCKERING MUFFIN MASTURBATER BITCH!" jom said as he pulled out a stick of dina-mite. he shoved it up irish's ass and lit it. he threw irish out the window and irish's ass exploded. he didn't have an ass anymore. :(

"MY ASS! AH AHA HAAHAHAHAHAH MY ASS! its GONE!" irish said as he cried a lot. he couldn't poop or take a shit anymore!

"I'll get you for this john marston! you made a big mistake!" irish said as he ran away crying.

"what a fag." the profession said.

"yeah" john marmston said.

"let's go to mexico. i want a burrito' the professor said.

"why" john marston said.

"because i'm hungry" the progressor said.

"oh" john marston said.

"yeP" the professor said.

"don't burritos give you gas?" john marston said.

"yep" the professor said.

"wel maybe u shouldnt eat one if they give you gas" john marston said.

"why not" the profressor said.

"i don't know" john masrson said.

"well i won't get one then" the profressor said.

"but im not saying you shouldnt just get one and maybe a taco too. they have lots of tacos in mexico and i'm not just talking about the meat." john marston said with a winkyface like this ;)

"you mean like vagina" the profressor said.

"yeah lol" john marston said.

"no shit sherlock" the professor said

"well lets fucking go!" john marston said.

'wait" the professor said as he did crack and then they left to go on the train.

"two tickets to mexico motherfucker" john said as he gave money to the gay conductor.

'thankssssss' the conductor said with a lisp because he was gay.

john got on the train and threw the conductor under the train. the train ran him over and john masrton shot him a lot juist to make sure he was dead.

'by joaf, why ddi you kill that man?" the prof prof said.

'BECAUSE HE WAS GAY!" jon marston said.

"HAHAHAHA NICE HE WAS" the professor said as he rolled on teh floor laughing is his motherfucking ass off.

they got on the train and went to mexico

"so how many tacos and burritos are in mexioc?" the professore asked?

"LOTs. more than you can eat. the amount of tacos stretches out to the sun, you could build a house out of tacos. the mexicans aren't good for anytyhing except making tacos, it's true they just won't admdit it. " john explained.

"cool" the prof said.

"yeah..." john said as he lit up a cigerrrette.

"im sorry sir, no smoking on this train' the new conductor said.

"FUCK OFF CHUMPWEED" John said as he blew smoke in the professor's face.

"AHAHAHAHAHA" the professor coughed.

"I SAID NO FUCKING SMOKING ON THIS TRAIN" THE COUNDCTER SAID. HE WAS GETTIN PISSED!

"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE LICKER!" John said. he took a huge hit off his cigeretttae and lit a joint at the same time. he held his breath for a LONG TIME and breathed out a shit load of smoke and soon no one could see shit in the train because there was so much fucking smoke.

"COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH" everyone said.

"RUN PROFESSOR" john said as he run out of the train car.

"GEEEET HIM!" the conductor yelled.

john and the professor got into the front of the fucking train.

"john...i have to tell you something' the professor said.

"whant is that prof?" john marston said.

"i have never smoked before." the prof said. he was sad and strarted to cry.

'oh yeah? want to now? john said?

'yes i like mairjaioiana' the prof said.

john took a lot of weed and put it intoi the train where the fire and shit goes and shoved the professors head in there too. he got so high.

but it was too late.

the conductor made it to the train.

"ITS THE END OF THE FUCKING LINE FOR YOU JOHN MARSTON YOU BITCH ASS!" the counductor said. he was mad.

"JOHN MY HEAD IS STUCK IN THE TRAIN" professor said. he was crying again but he was also high.

john masrson flipped off the conductor and shot him. he took a dynamito stick and threw it at the other people they died. he took the steering wheel of hte train and drove off the tracks back on to the road.

"JOHN MY HEAD IS STUCK IN THE TRAIN" professor said. he was crying again but he was also high.

"HAHAHA YOU TRAINHEAD BITCH" john said as he kicked the professor's ass with his boot.

he kicked him again just for fun. and again but that was too many times because now the professor was stuck inside the train!

"" the professor screamed as flames engulfed him and john laughed.

"how are you going to do crack now, you fag?" john said. he threw a grenade into the train and destroyed whatever was left of the prof.

he finally made it to mexico. the parking was really bad though, john parked the train in the parking lot next to a lot of donkeys and shit. liertal shit because it was mexico and it smelled really bad.

john went into the bar. he shot a nearby donkey and it pissed off the mexicans.

"HEY ASSHOLES, I WANT A FUCKING TACO" john said.

"you shouldn't say that homes.' Landon Ricketts said.

'sup landon" john marston said. he hugged lando cuz he was cool.

"what's kicking my man?" Landon Rixetx said.

"not much bro, i killed a bunch of gay people on the train and drove it here because i want a fucking taco or burrito.' john amrston said.

"yeah?"

"yeah."

"cool"

"but you gotta watch it arounjd these people. tacos are sacred to them. there is a taco mine out side of town, let's go." landon rickets said.

"ok!" john marston said as he smiled big!

they went outside and john whistled and his ferrari came to him like his horse does in the fucking video game if you whistle.

"HOW THE FUCK YOU GET THAT SHIT? lando said, he was confused and interested and a little aroused. he had visible wood.

"well it's a long fucking story." john said

===========================================FLASHBACK=====================================

john marston was wallking a lot in the desert. he had been there for week without food or water or anything.

"UUUUUHHHHH FUCK" john marshmstoon staid. he looked in a cave and found...

A FUCKIN CAR

"OH YEAH" Jon Marson said. he got in the car and crashed into a cave rock thing.

shit.' john marston says. then the cave started to rumble.

"OH YEAH" the kool aid man said as he burst through the wall.

'what the fuck are you doing here" jom marston said.

"you stole my fucking catchprhase so im gonna kick your ass you white trahs mother fucker' the kool aid man said. he was mad.

"fuck you, cool aid is crap!" john marston said as he went into dead i mode and shot the kool aid man. the cool aid man was bleeding kool aid all over the floor

" """"

"AHAHAHAHAHA" JOGHN MARSTON laughed.

john then drank what was left of the kool aid man.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the kool aid man screamed as john marston drank what was his life essence. there was no way he'd make it into the afterlife now. his soul was the kool aide.

"yum, i fucking love kool aide" john marston said. he got into his ferrari and drove out to thee dessert.

"WOW! THAT"S COOL" landon ricket said.

then they falled into the ground and were surrouned by taco meat.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 John Marston the Fucking Man

a/n: Fuck off haters. And fuck jessica. bitch

John marston was trapped 400 feet below ground in the mexian dessert and taco meat was about to comsome him.

Lando and John were surrounded by taco meat.

'where the fuck did all this tacko meat come frum?" john said. he was really scared and crying.

"IDFK!" landon said. he was sad and scared too.

john started shooting at the taco Meat with his gun. it did not a thing.

John started to whip the taco meat with his Lasso.

"WAH-ROOOO" the taco meat cried. it backed off a bit.

"it's workin jon!" landon said as tears strreamed down his old ass fucking face.

"YEAH"! jhon said as he kept whipping the taco meat like he was indiana jones.

but this Only made the taco meat more mad! more taco meat flooded into the mine shaft and started to drown landon and john!

"glub glub ga blug" john and landon said as they drowned.

THEN a miracled happened.

"ey mayne, there's tacos down here" desantoo said.

"wait" jon said. "this is gay."

"yeah, you're right." lando said.

They left through a door that said exit as deansanta fell in to the pit and started eating all the taco meet.

"That sure was gay john." lander said. He was still sweating

"Yeauhp it shur wuz" Jon (A/n: NOT JOHN FROM GARFEILD LOLOLOLOLOL) said like a western cowboy, which he was.

"Wanna play some basketball?"

"Fux" Which means yes in cowboy western talk, which he spoke. "ho shit bitch" he said twice as he looked up at the sky over amradildo.

"whut is it bro?" Lando saidi.

"LOOK AT THAT SHIT!"

He looked at that shit, and saw the sky over armadildo had turned black and firey. FUcking shit was going down. fire was falling on the entire DED READ REMPTEDITION map. they could tell.

"IS THAT A GIANT CRAB MONSTER?" John said. "YES . it is." he said to himself.

"SHOOT THAT FUCKER BEFORE IT KILLS US ALLLLLLLL."

the giant crab monster, whos name is GARBENOV, began to fucking walk towards them.

"USE YOUR REVOLVENER! JOOOHHHNNNN!" Landon said as he was almost crupped by the crab.

John whipped out not his dick but his other trusted hot hard weapon. His gun. it was pretty cool

"REVOLVERRERERER GROOOO!" He said as he shot a million bullets into the crab's fucking face. it was dead immediately, but it crushed irishes house.

"heheheheh" john and landon said.

"now we have a new misterry. who the FUCK put a giant crab in the map of RED DED READEM

"I don't know landon." john said pissed offedly. "but I do know I'm gonna shoot that fucker in the testicles." 


	3. Chapter 3

RED DEAD BUT WITH A GOOD ENDING CHAPTER iii

The day the world faded away

a/n: i have nothing to say to you mother fuckers. rate and review please!

"Man John, who the fuck makes a giant crab monster?" Joh nsmarston said, standing next to a horse's ass.

"it wasn't made john." lander rickety rickets said. "It was fused."

"fused! what the shit are you on, fucking old man! FUCK!" john marston said as he shot the horse.

"somebody fused that crab thing with something else...something liek...bigness. I don't think the fusing will starp here."

"shit."

then that goverment guy came up behind JOHN MARSTON.

"hey fuckface" the governing dude said.

"what do you want, you pile of std's" john siad

"it seems to me john that you still Owe me some shit." he said, rolling out a sheet of paper that rolled all the way to fucking mexico or some shit, it was that fucking long.

"what the fucking fucking FUCK do I owe you! you made me come to america to kill guys."

"and you done did that shit. but I aint done with this bitch. you gotta..."

John gasped, cried, and shat his pants at the same time when he heard him say.

"go back and finish high school"

""

the goverment guy snapped his fingers, and john was back in high school!

"what THE fuck?" John said in his desk. he had his geeky clothes again.

"langueange, mister marton, don't fuck with me. i'm the shit around here." the teacher, Mrs. Manly said. she looked like a dude.

jerrn loked around the klass. he saw bonnie, his wife, professor, landon, mexican dude desanto or whatever the fuck his name was, jack was there too.

'pa, what're all of yew new guys doing here?" jack said in his fucking shitty FUCKING voice.

john mareston stared at his son, got up, and beat the pissing fuck out of him.

"don't fucking dont talk to your father that way"

the class cheered.

"that shit was pretty tits." john said to .heh

"settle down you dumb fucks." mrs. manly said. "open your teckst buks to page 31834758092734985172586 where we will begin learing about fusing"

"who! didn't lander tell me to fucking learn this shit? FUSING?" john thought and said.

"shut the fuck up john marston."

john tried to listen to mrs. manly talk about fusing, but it was facking borning.

"this is gay, I'm gonna go play hooky and play cod, he said, making sure to shoot irish in the dick on his way out.

john set up his new XBOX 360 and put in MW3 it was pretty fucking sweet. he lit a joint (which makes playing better) and started playing. the room was so full of smoke he could almsot see the screen on his sick flatscreen set up.

"this game is pretty tits."

landon and the government guy walked through the door.

"jern, I had to make sure you were not skipping and playing hooky, but looky looky what we fooky fooky have here." the goverment said.

"john. you were supposed to learn about FUSING. you fuck" landnad said.

"hey fuck you guys, I'm having fun.!" he pulled revolvernator out and hsot landon and missed, and then he shot the goverment in the arm. he exploded with darkness.

"what the fuck was that shit.

"john marston. i think he was a fusing too."

landon started crying.

"I'm so sorry! i'm gay. i shuld have hulped you and trested YOU!UUU!"

"nah it's cool man." indy said.

"shit man, you gotta fucking kill me or something. if that goverment guy was a fusing, who else could be one?"

"I aint gonna kill your bitch ass. we gotta find out who the fuck is behind all this. their testicles have a name that's on one or two of my bulltest." marston said like a badass.

"fuck yeh we does."

they walked out of the house.

"but first you gotta have thanksgiving dinner with your family."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" 


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4 of red dead redemption but with a Good Ending

the chapter title is John Marston Has Thanksgiving Dinner With His Family

John Marston wanted to shoot his whole fucking family, especially the bitch ass son that he hoped his wife cheated on him to make.

"hey pop" jack said in his shit voice. "when's supper?"

john backhanded the shit out of him.

"don't fucking say supper in this fucking house you shit."

jack ran away crying. in front of john was now the government guy. the other dude with the glasses (I aint give a shit what his name is) with the government guy was there also.

"fuck john that's some pretty shitty shit you're putting your son through."

"fuck off."

"hey shithead. if you don't have dinner right now for thanksgiving with your family and let us film it, you're still in debt to us."

"hey wait just a fucking second weren't you the guy I shot?"

john woke up, and jack was sitting over him.

"musta been some fucking dream you had pop. ready for thanksgiving dinner?"

"fuck off."

but he went to dinner anywas. they had tacos made out of turkey or some western shit.

"so john" his bitch wife said. "do you like the fucking food."

"no. it sucks." john said. "can I go play xbox?"

"hey pop. I read a cool book today."

"books are gay son."

"this book was about fusing."

"SHIT." John said as he crapped himself from surprise, and shot his guns into the ground in surprise as well. "well what the fuck did it say?"

"it said fusing was created by a professor."

"SHIT. I BETTER FUCKING KILL THE PROFESSOR AGAIN AND IRISH because fuck him."

"but it wasn't the professor pop."

"stop fucking calling me pop or I'll pop you in the face with a shotgun." jhroarn said with a pissed off face.

"well it was the fucking dark wizard."

"the dark wizard? fuck you jack. this is stupid."

john flipped the table over so it and all the food landed on his wife.

"dinner is fucking served." John said.

"dad I gotta come with you so you can become john marston and stop the fusing."

"ok."

they got in john's ferrari and drove away. they went to that purple suit guy with the lotions. he was jacking off with a cactus.

"are you the dark wizard?" john said.

"zeribity! I am not dear jhon mnarsta."

"the fuck you saying."

"what did you come here for sere."

"I what to know what the fusing is."

the dude got this look on his face, like he had to take a dump, which reminded john he needed to change his pants. he took them and his underpants off and threw them on the purple suit guy.

"shit now I don't have pants." john said. "I could sure use a dark wizard to wish for some more pants right now."

"Pop i got a confession."

john reached for his gun, but he pulled his pants off so he couldn't grab it. he got his shotgun off his back and reloaded it like cool style.

"the fuck did I tell you?"

"fuck you john marston. I'm the dark wizard."

he blasted john with energy but john just shot him in the fucking face. he missed tho and jack ran away.

"shit. is he the dark wizard?"

john got back in his ferarri and got some new pants from target. landon was there looking at porn.

"hey john did you figure out who's behind the fusing?"

"no but I think my son jack might be involved. want to go find out?"

"I think we should go get stoned and play some xbox first."

"cool"

they got really high and played xbox right in target. the sales dude came up and told them to quit but john kicked his ass and then shot it.

"this isn't going anywhere. we gotta go to the jack and figure out what the hell is going on."

they went back to john marston's house. on the door there was a note written in blood that said

"fuck you pop. I stole your wife away and now i'm keeping her in the tower. if you want to find out why the fusing is happening come to the tower on fourth street.'

"shit we better go there."

they drove the ferrari up a ramp and it jumped it all the way to the tower. 


	5. Chapter 5

Read Ded Reademption Chapter 5

John's Choice

john was flying to the tower on fourth street when his iphone rang. it was jack.

"jack you wanna explain why you stole my fucking wife and are a dark wizard?"

"I lied pop, it's the only way I could get you to go to the tower."

"that's some shit, jack. some rough shit."

jarn mohnstoarn was about to shoot jack through his phone but then he couldn't do that because it would break his boss phone and not his son.

"how'd you do all that dark negergy shit then. FUCK" John screamed

"it was just a trick. You were high as fuck, pop. I wasn't even doing magic. but you gotta stop the fusing."

"alright I guess" he hung up the phone (which had a cool cow pattern shell on it because it's a western)

"who was that?" landon said. they were still flying through the air at the tower.

"my son. he was lying about stealing what the fuck is her name."

"the bitch?"

"yeah"

"so what now" landon said as he lit a joint.

"I aint know. I guess this tower will have the key to the fusing."

"well aint that a fuck shit of damn."

he high fived langdron for making cool swears.

they landed on top of the tower. it was purple. there was a parking lot on top of it.

"shit."

"what is it?"

the parking lot said it can only hold one person.

"well aint that a bitch."

"yeah it is"

"what should we do?"

"hang on I got an idgea." jam said. he activted the ferrari's SPLIT function and turned it into TWO FERRARIS.

"DUDE." landon said as he nearly creamed himself from how badass that was.

they climbed thru the security hatch and a fat guy was in there. he had a pink haircut.

"hello welcome to the dark tower of fusing."

"this is the place where they do the fusing!" landon whispered as he screamed.

john shot the pink haired guy. "Fuck him." he said.

"Yes." Landon said. they walked into the elevator that had a cow in it, which they shot and made burgers of on the way down ot the basement, where the fusing was being created.

it was dark and green glowy shit was everywhere. like thecnology too.

"this place is pretty gay." landon said.

they heard clapping. all of a sudden the enemy guy was standing in front of them.

"who the fuck are you?" john said.

"my name...is HAVEEAIR ESKUWAYLA!"

"you bitch. I knew it was you."

"i wasn't alone...there is many people who is causing fusing. i'm just the guy who watches over the tower. we are all part of the Fourteen Angry Good Guys On Texas States"

"so if I kill this tower, there's no more fusing?" john said!

"no. this is only one. there are many more like this. and 13 other guys like me. and if you destroy me and this tower bad shit goes down for you. you have to make a terrible choice."

"but also...you're part of htis? so I could say you're behind this?"

"FUCK. john don't you see? if you destroy this tower...you'll lose your ferrari."

"!" John s-creamed (scream and jizzed himself in fear).

"so what'll it be john? kill me and this tower and lose your ferrari or walk away."

"this seems tricky!" landon said as he licked his lips furiously.

"fuck all, this ain't hard. I'm hard." john said as he whomped his gun into his hand, and shot haveairs balls off. he shot the glowing fuck an assload of times before running back to hte elevator with landon. he put dynamite at his feet and exploded them to the top of the elevator. they each got in a ferrari and flew back to jarn house to play xbox. then they made fun of jack for his wii.

but back at the twoer, that was now destroyed, one last fusing happened at the tower that was now destroyed because haveair activated it before he was dead in the tower that was destroyed. a big fucking mutant fish seal whale lion dragon monster half made of fucking pizza climbed out of the tower that was now destroyed. it had haviars face. 


	6. Chapter 6

red dead but wif good ending chapter 6

"john marstons back bitches"

John was playing some titanfall and cod and gta v with his buddy ol pal landon rickety.

"jon these gosh dang god damn fucked up bitch as video games are pissing me teh hell off, im from a different time motherfucker." landon said when he lost lol.

"that's just cuz dads a shitty teacher at video games mr landon rickety rickster." john mashtons son jack mars said,

"FUCK YOU JACK" john said as he threw a brick at john's dumbass face. he blocked it because he was such a bitch he already ran out of the house and into town to cry to the wimpazoids at the fair arcade where losers go to fucking suck.

"bitch ass." john said.

"Kill that bitch john. he aint worth it." landon said.

"I would but my wife would have my balls. ho shit speaking of balls theres a motherfucker out there whose testicels i have to shoot."

"oh yeh the dudes who are doing the fusing. you still gonna shoot them all in their testicles?"

"yes" john said as he shooted a big bong hit into his mouth

"well who should we get next"

"fuck if i kno. havier said they r all in texas states so like here in texas, mexico, texico, new texas, ok, new mexico, texaco etc"

"gotcha" landon siad. "you wanna go now then?"

"nah well go when my fucking bitch gets home and bitches at me for not doing chores."

"ok"

they got high and played sick ass games like watch dogs until johns wife came home, carrying jack like a baby because fuck if i understand women.

"aright lets go" john said, shooting the door open before hopping into his ferreri.

but there was a problem. there was a big fucking thing in the way!

"what the fuck is that shit bitch in my fucking way damn."

so John saw the fucking mutant seal whale dragon lion mutant fish half made of fucking of a tower and havier eskwueala.

"Ahh boyo this is one fucking shit ass day." Marston said and hoped his loser ass son wouldnt call him ever today because he sucked.

John had to destroy the thing which I ugess is one of the 14 towers. but maybe the bad guys were lying about the towers who knows? I sure as fuck dont lol. Just wait and see and you will understand ;)

John used his big revolver that shoots rockets and blue up the pizza part, which spreaad over all of armadilpa and so no one was hungry anymore because they had pizza now forever and ever. part landod on landin and he got really hurt.

"LANDONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN" john screamed as tears exploded out of his eyeballs.

"Im fucking okay john shit I'd think you fucking want to suck my dick or have a romantic dinner with the way your bitching now." landon said as he ate his way out.

"oh so you ok?"

"yeah I just need some rest. Im gonna go rent a hotel like holiday inn or something and go sleep for a bit. You take out those towers good ya?"

"yah home." john gave landon a cool handshake and said catch ya later ay and left landon to leave.

then john noticed that the monster dude was really fuckin slow so he just left his wife and son jack to deal with it lol. he found the hotel landon was staying at and was gonna sneaky suprise him at the pool when landon whent for a dip. but someone much scarier showd up.

it was fucking bonnie mcfarlan.

"john. we need to talk."

"wut"

"i know where the next tower is, but your not going to like it."

"why. fucking why" john was ready to smack her he was so mad that his friend time was getting cut off

"its the fat tower john."

john marston trembled in his boots so scardedly he fell out of his boots. he fell into the pool and the water came up all around him and every thing began to go dark


End file.
